Today I bought an electric wheelchair and I’m overwhelmed.
How is it possible to feel so many contradictory things at the same time? I cried, laughed, cried some more. The joy I felt, being able to get outside and “go for a walk,” to take back some normalcy, the despair and sadness at the tangible evidence of the ravages of ME/CFS, all mixed up in an overwhelming emotional storm.
But still, freedom beckons!
I would love to be independent, to not have to be reliant on others all the time, but my walking has deteriorated and it is laborious to move my non-compliant muscles for very long. A short block had become a marathon. The parameters of my life are mostly bound by the walls of our house. But on days when getting dressed and going outside is an option, it’s a heady prospect indeed! So take that ME – A celebration is in order!