Change

This is what my much-loved work area looked like not long ago. Crammed full of paints, gemstones, findings, half-finished bracelets and necklaces and a plethora of tools to create jewelry of all kinds.

0275AEB2-09C9-4399-AA5D-609632EB8118

Alas, I’ve come to grips with the reality that due to the severity of ME/CFS, it’s too difficult to make and market my jewelry; therefore, I’ve had to drastically cut back. If I am being honest, it’s something I will probably have to let go of completely. This is a tremendous loss as an avenue of creativity. With any chronic illness, you are forced to go through a continuous process of grief, for the unrelenting loss of one piece of your life after another. The contrast between what you were able to accomplish and the actuality of ones present circumstance is an ever widening chasm.

But, as one lovely young lady, Lucy Grove-Jones wrote in a wonderful post, It won’t be the same life I would have had if I’d never become sick, I know that….. because I will have a life. Just watch me. 

In that same vein, I’ve begun, slowly retiring my jewelry accoutrements and replacing them with watercolors and brushes. Here in my studio is a required tool for ME/CFS, the ubiquitous couch where much of my life is spent, resting to alleviate symptoms and hopefully, prevent further damage. Books and iPad are piled high, always with hopes that my brain fog is less intense that day so I can delve into them for a small period of time. My art table awaits, for the moments I can again revel in my paints and explore all the gorgeous hues.

B60D57E4-4F0F-40AE-90A6-A6E8F92061E7

I have a life. It is a different kind of life, but it is mine to build anew.

If you would like to know more about ME/CFS, and to help build awareness, there’s great information MEAction and at Solve ME/CFS Initiative. And please check out Lucy’s delightful blog here!

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Local happenings, Making the jewelry, ME/CFS, paintings and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Change

  1. It is always horrible to realise you have to leave something behind, but I’m glad you’ve turned to something new. Good luck with watercolours! I’d love to see what you create.

    Like

  2. MeWithME says:

    I noticed that a lot of people with ME are creative, and were accomplished artists before getting sick. I was like that myself but now like you I wait for moments to do a little something that reflects those talents. I find it hard to look at the things I use to be creative because I rarely get to use them. Yesterday I sharpened my colored pencils but I don’t know how long I have to wait before I can use them. I can only imagine how hard this disease is for others to understand…how can anyone understand this. Thank you for writing, I’m grateful for those that do and touch the lives of others like your brush strokes.

    Like

    • jule says:

      Yes, I hear you. Everyday is full of choices how to use the bitty amounts of energy available to those of us who have M.E. Usually real life and just maintaining gets in the way. I hope you get a chance to put those pencils to work soon and that today is a good one.

      Like

  3. Marie says:

    I am so glad that you are hoping to do some watercolor.
    You are an extremely creative person, and I know that your works will be lovely!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s